


let go

by sunshinemini



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, M/M, Unrequited Love, chan admiring woojin, chan is literally in love with him, gets sad really fast, very minor fluff, woojin is just something else
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2019-03-09 18:48:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13487547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshinemini/pseuds/sunshinemini
Summary: your eyes sparkle in the night, how can they shine so bright?





	let go

**Author's Note:**

> i accidentally deleted this because i am dumb so here it is once more. i still really don't know how i feel about this, but hey ho it's better than it just sitting in my computer (plus i need to stop projecting myself onto my characters even though that's very unlikely)

the softness of the sand between his toes, still damp from the retreating tide, eyes fluttering closed as he breathed in the fresh aroma that embraced him. the waves overlapping one another, white bubbling crests descending as they masked the shore, as if the pent-up emotions coupled with stress that'd built up inside him – suffocating him to say the least – washed itself away alongside.

"look," woojin whispered, breaking him from his current trance, only to be captivated by another.

not even the profusion of purples, golds and silvers that illuminated the sky could compare to the beauty of his eyes. even the way the drizzle that faded beneath the stars to shelter, all the brightness that was once there oozing out and trickling away wasn't enough. the sheer simplicity of that brown, a brown so rich and dark, kind of like coffee. chan couldn't help but become utterly mesmerised, transfixed at how the shade complimented how sweet he was.

he knew it sounded ridiculous, but it was so ridiculously _real._

helplessly unfazed by the bursts of booming crackles and snaps that vibrated the sand underneath them. everything seemed so faint and far away, chan's gaze shifted to woojin – a gaze dripping with _love._

chan could never admit to his affection, despite his cheeks permanently tickled with kisses that left behind the slightest of pink tints at the sheer thought of his voice, his name even; as if for those brief seconds there were no hushed whispers emitting from wherever they found themselves to be, everything being blocked completely by _him_.

that rush of adrenaline that pulsated through his veins, a smile etched onto his face.

chan felt both at ease and peace whenever he was with woojin, his heart filled to the brim with gratitude. the ever-lasting, ever-changing beauty of the world, he wanted to experience it with _him._  

_how_ _could_ _he_ _have_ _been_ _so_ _lucky_ _to have someone like_ _woojin_ _his life_ _?_ he thought. every single moment spent engraved in his memory for years to come. unable to refrain from delving into his favourite night in late october – a night where his fondness for him shined brighter than ever before.

* * *

 

friday nights marked movie night, more specifically, horror movie night. distinctively marking the situation as ironic with nobody being particularly fond of the genre, – except changbin, but the façade always faltered...eventually – nights often revolving around the transformation of whoever's bed or couch, it depended, into a makeshift fort upheld by a plethora of pillows and blankets.

the odd routine his friends had fallen into wasn't for so much for the thrill of teasing each other whenever the other let a squeal of terror escape (which was an often occurrence) but, for the sake of being intimate by "accident" as chan would say, well, stutter. Of course, at first, he'd protested, vouching for anything bar horror, but eventually he settled and found himself daydreaming about what would happen upon their next reunion.

more than often, chan's head would be buried in the crook of woojin's neck – eyes squeezed shut with fingers gripped at the hem of woojin's shirt, the scenes lining the screen chewing away at his insides – or when their hands entwined _ever so perfectly_ _._ or even how somehow their bodies melded in a way that was just right – chan was in complete awe, the small actions allowing him to feel at ease, protected even.

for when woojin's head drooped to make refuge in chan's lap, fingers tracing the smallest yet most intricate patterns upon his exposed skin, nobody would fail to notice the sweet smile that adorned chan's lips.

with two half-full bowls of popcorn and sweets balancing on his free thigh whilst woojin nuzzled himself into the other, his mind drifting into a daze. what would he even be doing if his friends weren't here, if **_woojin_** wasn't here? the reality of the outcome that pricked at him being much more disappointing than he thought.

an unmistakable crimson red flush infused on his cheeks, lingering whilst it soaked his skin, marking every crevasse.

eyes immediately darting towards his two closest friends, hoping that they were preoccupied with the movie, or suffering from poor eye-sight for better judgement. heart plummeting upon noticing the smug smirk that was plastered across both jisung and changbin's features. yup, he'd never hear the end of this.

nestling himself deeper into his hood, his blurred gaze averted and hung loosely upon the scene that controlled the screen, unsure of how much longer he could tolerate of _this_ _._

regardless, chan knew that the almost suffocating silence wouldn't last much longer, merely a tool to heighten both tension and emotion, something he felt he'd learnt a little too late for his liking. and even thought the silences left him, quite literally, on edge, he knew a _bang_ of intensity like no other would follow. this time that _bang_ being more personal and closer than anticipated.

"woojin, what the fuck was that for," the sudden sensation of nails gripping at his exposed flesh slapping him back into reality. a muffled whine rolling off his lips as his fingers gently massaged the throbbing skin.

woojin wasted no time in latching upon what was before him as to seize the _perfect_ moment – the opportunity to simultaneously tease and wind chan up dangling right in front of his eyes. with his brows furrowed out of confusion, lips slightly agape as if he had no recollection of what just happened, "chan, what are you talking about? what did i do?"

jisung and changbin snickered, nudging each other and exchanging hushed whispers, clearly more interested in chan's love life, which was on route for continuously being abysmal. shooting them a glare, chan could only wish for himself to disappear. but of course, chan's glare was adorned with a pout, only provoking the youngers further.

* * *

woojin was oblivious to how much comfort he'd rallied for chan, giving him a safe haven that he'd always craved. it was a blessing, as well as a curse – yet, the warmth he desired was emitted without fail and for chan, that was all that mattered. 

yet, crawling through him was the reality...the reality he chose so desperately to ignore, for the sake of his own happiness. yup, that's right, he was drowning every thought that resided.

sure, fabricating the truth was toxic and stupid, – as minho would say – but given the circumstances chan really couldn't have cared less. to not have a bombardment of negativity and self-doubt inflicted upon him at his most vulnerable states was nice, he guessed, although it never lasted long.

the whole ordeal haunted him, as if to mock his misery. distinct flashes of woojin's subtle glances coupled with a sulking boy whose cheeks were puffed out, out of jealousy...of chan. the nauseating feeling that devoured every ounce of him only continued to worsen, leaving a sensation of numbness trailing behind, arising once more upon memory. he _hated_ himself, just _hated_ how hard he fell for woojin.

he recalled how wary his gaze had been, how fast his heart plunged, how his body drained itself of any last glimmer of hope that clung to him.

everything was just a blur of incoherent thoughts.

"hyung!" the oh-so-familiar voice beamed, piercing through him like a thousand knives, ripping woojin from the grasp of his fingertips.

this was it, the end. chan just wanted to lurch forward, grab the hem of woojin's jacket and shield him in his embrace...but sadly, imagination never amounted to reality. instead, everything begun tearing itself apart at the seams whilst new scars begun to carve themselves deep.

it was just like that, and he was gone.

it was just like that, and he'd driven himself into silence and seclusion once more.


End file.
